Jonesing For Us
by AstaLaila
Summary: The continuing story of the boys after "He and Mr. Jones." Ianto and Jack are getting closer to each other, but something seems to be getting in the way. Is one of them hiding something, or is there something else wrong?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Story three begins!

Disclaim: I.......disclaim. Nadda.

* * *

They were working. In Jack's office, actually working. Well. Jack was trying to, but Ianto kept looking up at him.

"Can I help in any way?" He asked. Ianto's mouth opened at being caught and then closed.

"No. Well. I'm filling out the personnel updates for the year." Ianto gestured towards the pages in his lap from where he was sitting casually on the settee. "And….can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer it. It's just. I'm curious. And you know my real name," Ianto grinned a little. Jack had teasingly called him Ifan last week, after they had come back from Easter at Aoife's, and Ianto had refused to let him within five feet of him for the rest of the day. Also gave him a stern telling off that only his family called him that, and the least attractive thing he could think of was thinking about his mum when Jack was trying to get him to have a quick go in the hatch before the others showed up for the day. "And I was filling out the forms and….I was just wondering what your real name is?" Ianto said it a bit hesitantly, then shook his head.

"You know, nevermind. I don't need to know." Ianto seemed to think he had been foolish. Jack regarded him carefully. "You're Jack. I like you as Jack." Ianto seemed to smile slightly to himself.

"Jack." Ianto looked up again, refocusing on the voice.

"Pardon?"

"Jaxson, actually. With an 'x'." Jack wrinkled his nose slightly. He'd never been fond of the 'x' really.

"Your name is actually Jack."

"They always say the best lies are mixed with a bit of the truth."

"So last name isn't Harkness though." Jack shook his head.

"No."

"Hm." Jack smiled a little.

"What's got you thinking?" Ianto's eyebrows rose up a little and he turned to look at Jack.

"Nothing really. Just clarifies a few things." Ianto looked at the questioning expression he got from Jack. "Like why you like it so much when I say your name against your skin." His voice had stayed steady almost all the way through, but the softness behind the last words caught Jack in the gut. He felt his temperature begin to rise, and blushed a little. He wasn't supposed to be affected this easily.

"You sure about that?" He tried to answer back cockily, but Ianto just smiled and moved, looking like he was going to pass behind Jack, but he didn't appear on the other side like expected.

"Pretty sure." Ianto kissed slowly, soft, wet, imprecise kisses along his neck. "Jack."

This was going to be embarrassing. But he didn't care, Jack stood and turned so quickly that his chair tottered for a minute before settling noisily.

"Whoa." Ianto wasn't so much alarmed, just surprised at the speed with which Jack moved. He stumbled back, his feet astride and imbalanced as he hit the windows. Oh god. He hoped no one down in the hub heard him hit it. Or looked up. Because Jack was against him. He kissed Ianto fiercely, swiping his tongue into his mouth. His hands were along the sides of his neck, down to his waist, his arse, and suddenly, palming him through his trousers. Ianto almost choked into the kiss.

"Jack! Up against the flipping window?" Ianto tried to sound scolding, but could only really manage an ineffective debauched disappointment.

"Your fault." Jack growled. Ianto's eyes rolled back as Jack squeezed firmly.

"Fuck."

"You have no idea how much I'd like that." Jack bit gently at Ianto's collar bone, having tugged his tie loose with his free hand and pushed the shirt aside. Ianto's hand fumbled and yanked on the cord for the blinds. It would be too late now, but he didn't care much what the others thought right now if they were anywhere around. Where were they supposed to be anyways? God it was hard the think when Jack's hand was cupping his…

"Jack." His eyes suddenly caught the other man's. Lunch. The girls were at lunch and Owen had gone with them. "Come on." He grabbed Jack's arm, wincing at the loss of contact, and pulled him to the hatch.

* * *

Below the office Jack moved with renewed vigour, pulling Ianto's belt open with one quick tug. He pulled it from the loops and stepped back for a moment. God he was gorgeous.

"Yan…" He tried to say what he wanted to, but it wasn't coming, so he just pushed Ianto back gently onto the bed and crawled overtop of him.

"You've told me your name. Now tell me something else." Ianto challenged him, as his hands went to Jack's trousers, releasing the braces and undoing his belt. Jack tried to kiss him, but Ianto dodged him. They had some time, he knew, because he remembered Gwen wanted to get Tosh's opinion on bridesmaid dresses as well as lunch, and Owen was stuck with them.

"Tell me something else."

Jack grunted in frustration.

"I want you to touch me. Now." Ianto smirked infuriatingly.

"Tell me something I don't know." He fiddled obnoxiously with Jack's zip. Jack felt liquid heat shoot straight to his groin. He wasn't thinking straight clearly. So he said the first thing he could think of.

"I want everyone to know that you're mine."

Ianto scrambled back, hitting his head against the wall and wincing. Jack shook his head slightly at the sudden change. What had just happened?

"What just happened?" Jack looked at Ianto warily.

"Uh." Ianto wasn't entirely sure. He'd heard the words, and suddenly he'd felt a surge of emotion that made their contact almost unbearably….he wasn't sure what. He hadn't felt like this since….

"I don't….I'm sorry." Ianto did up his belt. "I…I'm sorry Jack, I don't know what happened."

Jack frowned at Ianto's shaking hands. It was almost like doing up the belt had put up a shield to more than just his pants, not that that wasn't enough disappointment for Jack.

"Did I…."

Ianto shook his head vigourously.

"No, no….I just….I dunno." He looked up at Jack, equally confused.

"Alright….well….Do you want to go back upstairs?" Ianto nodded, looking a bit abashed.

"Yeah, sorry. If you don't mind."

"No, course not….I'll meet you up there." He patted Ianto's shoulder, letting his hand slid down and squeeze the bicep slightly. After Ianto had disappeared through the hatch, Jack laid back on the bed with a thump.

What the hell had that been?


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto climbed out of the hatch and took a few steps away. He stopped and ran his hand through his hair before grabbing his jacket.

"Jack. I'm going to had back to mine, get some sleep. I'm not feeling very well. Might have been dinner last night." He called out, knowing Jack would be able to hear him. Ianto also knew that dinner wasn't causing the jumpy, nauseous feeling he had.

"Should I…" Jack called back. He sounded hesitant and Ianto didn't blame him. He'd jumped away when Jack had told him something private, personal and potentially very public. But he'd smooth that over later. Right now he had to get back to his. Needed some privacy to make a call.

"No. It's alright. You better stay here in case it's something catching." He winced at his own lie, knowing that neither of them believed it.

"Alright. Well…call me in the morning if you're still ill. Or anytime. Call." His voice trailed off a little, and Ianto winced.

"Yeah, I will. Night." He strode quickly from the office, leaving only the clanging of his soles on the metal grating as he jogged his way over to the car bay. How long had it been since he felt this way?

* * *

Ianto looked across the table, his hands nervously rubbing against the legs of his pants.

"Alright everyone, just focus on the person across from you, relax, and….good." The instructor walked around the tables, observing each of them in turn.

"Miss Hallett, Mr. Jones. Everything alright?" Ianto looked up.

"Um, yeah."

"I believe I told you to relax."

"I am. I'm trying."

"Try a little bit harder then." Ianto frowned. He didn't want to do this. But it was this, or he went to upper level training for a week, and he'd rather just get it over with by the yearly primary seminar.

But he felt like such a twat. Lisa would relax and open herself up, and unlike the rest of the people in the room, he would invade her privacy.

"Come on now." Lisa encouraged. "Let's just get it over and done with, yeah?"

Ianto tried to smile in response. Best to just get it over with then. He focused in on her. Tried to stop his mind wandering to her lips, her eyes, the smooth skin along her cheekbones. Tried not to think about how he'd been trying to work up the courage to ask her to lunch for at least two weeks now, always failing and offering a faint, polite smile in place. Focus.

"Sometimes people do better with physical contact." The instructor added. Lisa's hands slid across the table. Ianto stared. And his hands lifted from his lap to lie against her offered palms. The moment their skin touched, Ianto felt a hot rush that flowed through his ears and made him feel….ill and wonderful all at once, and unbearably so. He pushed back his chair from the table and stood, striding away from Lisa and the instructor, and the other partnered colleagues who watched him with surprise. He pushed through the swing door and into the hallway, pacing forwards a few steps before he stopped, and leant himself against the wall. His head lolled back against the tiles.

"Ianto? Ianto!" The door swung open again and Lisa appeared through it, glancing up and down before she spotted him. "There you- are you alright? You gave me a fright!" She marched up to him and looked him over, as though there would be something physical she would be able to find wrong with him. Her hand trembled a little as it moved towards his face and then pulled away.

"I'm…I'm sorry Miss Hallett. I didn't mean to-" Ianto stopped, trailing away.

"Lisa. I said for you to call me Lisa." She smiled at him kindly, but still looked a bit shaken. "I'm sorry if I did something."

Ianto shook his head.

"No. You didn't. You didn't do…" He let his hand rub against his forehead. "Will you go to lunch with me?"

Lisa stared. Just….stared at him for a moment.

"It's just, I understand, if you don't want to, of course, I mean, you're….beautiful, any one would want to go out with you. But I…I really want to take you out to lunch. Have. For a long while now." Ianto laughed at himself a little. "I just…felt…."

"Are you being quite serious?" He looked up at her, hearing the mocking that could be placed in the words, but not hearing it in her voice. "Only, the last few blokes have been pissing about, and…um…you are serious?"

Ianto opened his mouth. How could she think that he would be playing around with her? He knew that there was something about her, Lisa Hallett. And as pathetic as it sounded, he couldn't help a slightly romantic inclination that she might change him and his very world, if only she'd let him get close to her.

"Never." He replied earnestly. "I mean, yes. I'm serious. I really would like to take you out to lunch."

"Come on then." Lisa held out her hand in a firm gesture that didn't successfully hide the slightly nervous shake behind it. "This training is shite anyways. The whole psychic thing is a bit ridiculous if you ask me."

Ianto just shrugged. "Dunno. Don't suppose it's that important." He gave her a shy smile and took her hand in his. There was a faint tingle of energy that flowed between them. Ianto wondered if Lisa noticed it like he did.

* * *

Ianto took her to a café he liked, nearby Torchwood One. She blushed at him when he pulled out her chair for her and insisted almost excessively about paying the bill. He could almost feel her level of slight discomfort at it, as though she wasn't used to this kind of treatment.

He asked her to lunch with him again the following day, and when she agreed with a smile and a tight hug, he felt like one day, perhaps not too far into the future now, he might love her.

* * *

Ianto pulled onto his street, glancing about for a parking space on his building's property.

How was he supposed to tell Jack this? How was he supposed to tell him why he had pulled back? Surely Jack was confused, or had jumped to what could only be incorrect assumptions. Ianto didn't think Jack would take well to more secrets from him. Especially one of this nature.

He'd just have to work on it, to control it now that he and Jack seemed to have forged a connection. But there was no way he could do this on his own. He hadn't last time, with Lisa. He had depended on another to help him along, not that he didn't sometimes return the favour to her. And he couldn't face the heavy emotional static that he'd just had with Jack every time he felt something for the man.

So there was really only one choice in this. He'd have to call Talia. He needed her to help him through this. And it would be best if Jack's didn't know.


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on, come on, pick up." Ianto muttered, clenching the phone between his shoulder and ear as he rolled up his shirt sleeves.

As soon as he'd got home he'd taken his land line phone in one hand, and collected all his dirty dishes using the other. He had dialed the number from memory as he tempered the water and added the washing up liquid.

"Oh, hello?" A breathless voice came up on the other side of the line.

"Hello, it's-"

"Yanno, luv, how are you? Sorry had to run from the other room for the phone."

"I'm alright Tal. Just got home for work."

"Late night, then."

"Yes, I was finishing up some things with Jack in his office." He wiped a cloth around the inside of his cereal bowl from breakfast, and it knocked against the edge of a glass.

"Yan…" Ianto felt a little uncomfortable at the questioning tone in her voice. "Are you doing the dishes right now?"

"Yes." He answered honestly, and heard a sigh in response.

"What's wrong?" Ianto smiled, glancing out at the city from the window over his sink.

"It's Jack." He shook his head, very slightly as not to let the phone drop into the water. "Well, not Jack. It's me and Jack. I just…I freaked out on him a little today I suppose."

"Freak out, or……freak out." She intoned.

"What do you think Talia." Ianto rolled his eyes. "I've called you in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday and I'm washing my dishes."

"What happened?"

"It's just. I didn't really expect this. Lisa was the last person who I….I haven't even said anything to him. So he doesn't know. He couldn't know how to…."

"Did you ask him about it? Did he feel anything?"

"The spark was about a week ago, but I thought it might have just been, you know, static shock or something."

"Did you actually think so?" Talia sounded doubtful, but encouraging.

"No, of course not, but I don't know how Jack could have let me in without knowing it. That's why I wasn't expecting anything today. And when we were….well, talking…." Ianto coughed and Talia laughed at his stuffy discretion about things like this. "Well he said something, and there wasn't any guard up, so it really hit me. I suppose I was more startled than anything."

"Are you alright now?"

"Yes, of course. Other than I think I scared Jack. I might have bolted….a bit….right after."

Ianto smiled at Talia's loud laugh through the line.

"You would do that, wouldn't you."

" I did." Ianto conceded.

"You should talk to him though."

"I don't know what to tell him really."

"Just….let him know as much as you're comfortable with."

"True. Look, thanks for the help. I'm sure you've got an appointment coming in or something."

"I've got ten minutes. Look, Yanno, I've got about a week off coming up in beginning of May. What say I come up to visit? We can go over some stuff."

"I'd love it." Ianto grinned at the prospect, moving a pot from the water to the drying rack.

"Alright then. Love you Yan."

"Love Tal."

* * *

"Hello?" Ianto answered his phone, taking a quick swig from his beer as he watched the rugby highlights.

"Eh mate. What's going on up in Cardiff then?" Ianto smiled.

"Nothing much. How are you and Mah doing?"

"Decently. Bit busy these days, switching over to the new building. We've got two new employees, one of whom is useless, but the other is working out well. What about you? How's that Jack fellow?"

Ianto laughed.

"Fine. Good. Busy with work, same as you. Just talked to Talia though."

"Really? How is she doing?"

"Coming up for a visit in May. You up for a night out with the whole crew as some point that week."

"Always am. Look, I just wanted to call and ask you something. I… I'm going to propose. To Moira."

"Thanks for the fill in on who."

"Shut it." Tommy shot back. "I'm serious about this. Business is settling down now, and we're looking at buying a flat, maybe a house. And I think….I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"Wow, mate, that's big."

"Yeah. I know."

"Do you know when, or where?"

"Don't even have the ring yet. I was hoping that you could come along, help me out with it."

"Yeah, course. Don't mind at all. Let me know when you've got an afternoon."

"I will. Ta, Ianto. It's a huge help."

"She's going to go straight mental you know." Ianto laughed.

"Yeah. Yeah I hope so."

"Well. Good on you, Tom."

"Thanks. Hey, I'll give you a call later in the week then?"

"Will do."

* * *

"Yanno!"

"Georgie! How's it going kid?" Ianto smiled at his bowl of fried rice leftovers.

"Good. I made it on the football team at school. First line too."

"That's great. I knew you would, if they'd any sense at all."

"Would you have come up here and straightened them out if I didn't."

"In a minute." Ianto chuckled.

"Which reminds me, when are you coming up for a visit? I was at Gran's for Easter, and it's been since Christmas now."

"I know. I'm just really busy at work Georgie. I promise I'll come up for a visit soon as I can."

"Fine. Make sure that you call first. You should come see one of my games."

"I'll see what I can do." Ianto stirred the rice around to spread out the dark circle of soy sauce.

"Alright. Well, you'd better. Anyways, your mum wants to talk to you. Bya!" Ianto took advantage of the pause to take in a bite of rice.

"Hello cariad," Ianto smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Bore da Mum. How are you?"

"Well, and you're running yourself ragged I suppose?"

"Only a little bit."

"Well, I thought I'd just have a quick call, check up on you."

"Am I last, as always?" Ianto pretended to be upset by the fact that his mother always called him last when she ran through each of the kids.

"Saving the best." It was the same reply she always gave. It was comforting

"How is everyone?"

"Oh, you know, scattered to the four winds. Ainsley and Dai are well, and the baby. It's apparently quite hot where they are right now, for the time of year. Aoife is up to her eyes in essays, as I'm sure you've heard before. And Lewis is being quite Lewis."

"Of course. What else could he be?"

"Anything he'd like if he'd just put his mind to it." Ianto could see his mum rolling her eyes across the phone line.

"Which reminds me. Tommy's getting engaged." Ianto related to her, knowing that she would remember his uni mates.

"To that Moira girl? I thought she was quite amusing when I met her. Good for him."

"Yeah, I'm going to help him go pick out the ring soon."

"And what about you, love?" Ianto snorted and he almost had rice up his nose.

"What about me?"

"How are you and Jack doing? Have you sorted things out?"

"Nothing was wrong Mum. Really."

"Whatever you want to say, Ifan."

"Muuum." It was Ianto's turn to roll his eyes.

"Well I hope he's taking care of you at least. Say hello from me."

"Okay. I will."

"Oh come on now. You two are rather serious, and you have a very strong connect it would seem."

"That would currently be the understatement of the situation." Ianto mumbled, and then swallowed heavily. Living away, he sometimes forgot the eerie sense of hearing his mother had.

"Ifan…Have you…?"

"No. I haven't mentioned anything to him. He doesn't know what I can do."

"You're sure everything's alright?" Ianto smiled, hoping to pass his convincing smile through the phone.

"Of course. Now I'm just going to have my supper before it gets cold. But I'll talk to you soon."

"Love Ifan," Ianto smiled at the mirror on his kitchen wall.

"Love Mum."

* * *

Before he even got a chance to exchange his phone for his fork, it rang again.

"Yes?" Ianto tried to sound polite, but a bit tired, hoping to beg off ill on whoever it was.

"Hi." Jack. Oh.

"Are you done for the day?" Ianto asked, not sure what else to say after having left so quickly today.

"Yeah, a few minutes ago. And I just wanted to check up, make sure you're alright."

"Yeah, I think it was probably just something I ate. My stomach was just a bit off." Jack made a noise of recognition.

"Would it be okay if I came over? Just to…I dunno…we can watch a movie or something?"

Ianto thought for a moment. He could beg off ill. Or he could spend the evening on the couch with Jack and a few beers.

"Yeah. Just let yourself in. I'll grab you a drink."

"I'll probably be there in ten."

* * *

They were laying on the couch, Jack's head resting on Ianto's lap. His braces were off his shoulders and his shirt was untucked, letting Ianto's palm rest closer to his skin. Ianto was in tracks and an old t-shirt, and was pretty much content. There was something deeper than usual in the hum of Jack's presence, beyond the rise and fall of his chest and the soft noises of his breathing. And like this, calm and soothing instead of sudden and overwhelming, it was nice.


	4. Chapter 4

They had crawled into bed at some time past two. When Ianto woke up the next morning he rolled over onto a warm body.

"One," A sleepy voice mumbled. "Good morning." Jack ducked his head to kiss Ianto near his forehead. "And two, would it be alright if I ask you to take your elbow out of my sternum."

Ianto glanced down and quickly pulled his arm away.

"Mmmm. Sorry."

"Good sleep?" Ianto stretched out, letting his hand fall to rub along his chin. He smiled lazily, with his eyes still shut.

"Yeah."

Jack felt heat building in the bottom of his stomach at the sight of the other man. The covers had been pushed down, and Jack could follow the lines of his torso from below the rucked-up t-shirt. His hand softly moved forwards along the mattress, gently settling over Ianto's skin, his index finger stroking a short line along the bottom of his rib cage.

"Mmmmmm," Ianto's eyes opened slightly, before he shut them again and sighed happily at Jack's touch. His hand shifted, grazing over an exposed hip and up along Ianto's side.

"Jack." His voice was soft and rough with sleep and Jack couldn't help himself from moving forwards at the sound of it. He shifted, climbing one knee over Ianto's thighs and hovering over top of him. Ianto's eyes opened again, this time letting them focus and watch Jack as eyes scanned over his face.

"Good sleep. The waking up's not looking bad either." Ianto reached up with a hand to Jack's neck and pulled him down for a kiss that made Jack arch into his body. Taking advantage, Ianto rolled them onto their side and hitched a leg over Jack's thigh to close the distance between them even more. They kissed in a way that was almost a competition, filling in the gaps with gasps and heavy breaths and weak laughs.

"Wanna know how I really feel about you this morning?" Jack hissed, guiding Ianto's hand down over his hip to his groin. But despite the lewd implication, the look in Jack's eyes gave it a whole other meaning. And his heart and stomach jerked heavily at the same time, in what felt like opposite directions.

Ianto scrambled away, feeling like he might throw up or explode, he wasn't sure which was more likely.

He sat on the edge of the bed and let his head drop down into his hands.

He heard the rustling noise of Jack sitting up and winced a bit.

"Look Ianto," He could hear the sexual frustration in Jack, a little extra somewhat desperate edge in his voice. "And I mean this in the most loving way I possibly can considering we haven't even come close to shagging since your sister's guestroom, but what the fuck is it this time?" He ended his question with an exasperated little laugh and Ianto shook his head.

"I'm sorry Jack. Really. It's nothing to do with you, I just…..I dunno."

"Okay." Jack took a deep breath and shifted closer to Ianto. "Is it something that I'm doing? Or not doing? Is something bothering you?"

He shook his head again, more vigourously, and stood up, pacing the room in his boxers and tee. He didn't want to tell Jack. Didn't want to admit to hiding something else. But he'd never really thought that this would be a problem. He could still keep it to himself. It would be fixed after Talia came for a visit, and that was only two weeks away. At least, he bloody well hoped it would.

"Come on. There's got to be something. This isn't normal for you."

"Yeah well normal's never really been our forte." Ianto mumbled, looking about for a hooded jumper to pull on. He found one thrown in a half open dresser drawer and tugged it on. By the time he looked back, Jack was staring at him, frowning heavily.

"Which means?"

"Nothing Jack. Really, don't worry yourself about it."

"Are you regretting this? Now that we've made it….whatever it is? Are you getting cold feet?" Ianto crossed to the bed quickly and sat down on the edge, folding one leg up underneath him.

"I am not second guessing this Jack." Jack snorted.

"Well you're doing a very good job at avoiding getting close to me, so sorry if I'm a bit skeptical."

Ianto reached out and grabbed Jack's arm.

"Look. I love you. Alright?" Jack frowned for a minute, reaching out to tug sharply on one of Ianto's drawstrings. "Jack."

Jack looked up finally and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah." He ground out, but Ianto could see the relief in his eyes.

"But...I think we have to put a bit of a hold on the physical side of things." Ianto continued, feeling rather crap about it. He didn't want to stop any more than Jack would, but it wouldn't do going about feeling like he was have a crushing heart attack every time they got close and things got intense.

Jack's head snapped up.

"You're not- You ARE serious."

"It's only for a couple weeks Jack."

"A couple weeks? You want us to stop everything for a couple of weeks!" Jack said incredulously. He slid out of the bed. "And supposedly everything is alright? Yeah, strangely I'm having a hard time believing it."

Jack went for the bathroom.

"Look, I'm just going to have a shower, clear my head, and hopefully what you've said might make a little more sense when I get out. Somehow I doubt it."

"Jack." Ianto called after him, knowing that this wasn't going to be easy.

The door to the bathroom shut and Ianto could hear Jack engage the lock from inside. They both were aware that Ianto wouldn't be joining him in the shower today. Ianto sighed.

Bugger. Or not, apparently.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Sorry about the delays! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

It was Friday, and the rest of the week had been ….uncomfortable at best. Jack had spent the last few nights at the hub, not even joining Ianto for dinner or inviting him down. In fact, he wasn't talking much to Ianto at all.

"Ianto, love, would you mind much asking Jack if he's finished with those films I lent him? He said he was going to have a big night in when I gave them to him." Gwen grinned at the impossible lazy domesticated image that made. Ianto thought that she didn't know Jack very well.

"I think you might do better asking yourself." Ianto told her as politely as he could. "Sorry Gwen. I don't think I'll be much help with Jack for a time."

Gwen frowned, but Ianto only smiled slightly and headed for the cog door, up to the tourist office.

* * *

Gwen climbed up the stairs to Jack's office.

"Knock knock?" She leaned in the door and Jack looked up absently.

"Hmmm?"

"Can I come in? Or are you too absorbed in…." She wandered over and looked at Jack's desktop. "Your blank stationary."

"No, of course not." Jack pushed the paper to the side. His hands planted firmly on the desk. "What can I do for you Gwen? How's the planning for the wedding going? Only five days left is it?"

Gwen took a seat in the spare chair.

"Yeah, almost there. Rhys has been nagging me about making sure I get everything done in time. He even went and picked up all the dresses for the bridal party and the groomsmen in one of the lorry because I had to take the car over to the bakery." Gwen grinned widely, twisting the engagement ring on her finger.

Jack was staring at it.

"Sweetheart, is everything alright?" Gwen put a hand over Jack's. He gave her a wide, almost convincing smile.

"Why wouldn't it be? Rift's calm, you're getting married, weather's quite warm for end of April."

"I'm sorry about not being able to invite you to the wedding." Gwen tried cautiously. "Only, you know how Rhys gets."

He shrugged in response. It's your day Gwen. I'll do whatever you want to make it go alright. Even if it means I have to hide under a rock for the whole day."

"Will a stone monolith do?" Gwen teased, glancing out at the slab. Jack let out a light chuckle.

"I suppose it will have to."

"You know…" Gwen shifted slightly in her chair. She felt uncomfortable approaching the topic she wanted to. "We should just….tell Rhys that you're with Ianto. Maybe then he wouldn't mind it." Gwen had tried for humour but it fell flat.

Jack cleared his throat.

"It might work. If it was true." He didn't know if Ianto had broken up with him really. He hadn't talked to him in a few days. "I'm not with him."

"Well whatever you two call it." Gwen waved away, but Jack could see her eyes were curious about his response.

"Call it nothing, because that's what it is." Jack said crisply. He pulled open a desk drawer and took out the spare keys for the SUV. "I'm going to go out and pick up some lunch. Anything I can grab for you?" Jack stood, looking at Gwen expectantly. She frowned a little, but shook her head.

"Nah, I'm fine Jack."

"Be back. Call if anything happens." Jack grabbed his coat off its hook and left her sitting in his office.

* * *

Jack ripped a piece off the pasty he'd bought and threw it over the railing into the water. He hadn't taken the SUV very far. Just out to a lunch counter he liked, and back to the Plass. And now he was leaning against the rails of the walk and thinking. His jacket was blowing out behind him, and he imagined that he looked appropriately unsettled like that. That was one of the wonderful things about the coat. It knew quite well now what was appropriate for his moods.

"You look unsettled." Jack snorted quietly at the comment from behind him.

"Yeah well, haven't had the best week, surprisingly."

Ianto wandered up beside him, leaning his forearms on the top rail.

"Saw you out here on the CCTV." Ianto squinted out across the water, which was sharply reflecting the sunlight at them.

"That's what you were doing hiding up in the office then."

"I wasn't hiding there anymore that you were in your own office." Ianto shot back, then took a deep breath. "Look Jack, I'm not out here for another disagreement. You're the one who shut me out remember?"

Jack shook his head, his expression one of disbelief.

"I'm the one who shut you out?"

"Yes. I was trying to talk to you, and you went and shut yourself up in the bath like a stroppy teenager!" Ianto said with frustration. This wasn't going like he'd planned for it to.

"Talk to me? You just up and bolt on me in the middle of everything, and not for the first time lately, may I mention, and I'm the one who's petulant!"

"Yes, you are! Just because you don't get exactly what you want, just because I need time, you get all in a piss."

"Time? It's not like we haven't done it before. I thought we'd….I don't even know what." Jack had stepped back from the rail and Ianto turned to face him as he gestured frenetically. "And all of a sudden I can't touch you?"

"You can touch me! I want you to." Ianto shifted towards him, hissing his words as he looked around the plass nervously. "Is it really this big a deal if I ask that we don't have sex for just a while."

Jack laughed in astonishment, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry Ianto! I like having sex with you. My sincerest apologies!"

His tone was heavy with sarcasm and an offensive stance now.

"Oh come on Jack. It's not something I want either!"

"Then why are you doing it!"

Ianto wanted to blurt it out, but something stopped him. Probably the radiating anger and confusion coming off of Jack. It felt like heartburn in his own chest. He couldn't tell him like this.

"I can't say!"

"Unbelievable!" He looked at Ianto in astonishment. "I thought we stopped with the secrets. I thought…."

"Jack." Ianto reached towards him, but pulled back as he felt a spark of static startle him away. Jack pointed at him fiercely.

"DON'T follow me." Ianto wasn't even thinking about doing that right now, although the severity of Jack's statement was somewhat belied by his addition of an unnecessary "I'm angry at you."

* * *

It would have been even more undermined if Ianto had heard him mumble irritably as he strode away. "I told you I loved you."

* * *

But Ianto was just leaning against the rail, his head down, sun hot on his neck as he stared at his feet.

No. That had not gone along with his plan for reconciliation with Jack at all.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- I wouldn't leave the poor boys stranded. Just been a bit busy of late. Enjoy and thank to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, especially for their patience.

* * *

What was going on. Ianto had said that he wanted them to stop their physical relationship, but had said that he loved him. Was it just a love of friendship? Was there someone else? Was he really ill or injured in some way?

Jack glared down from his office. The worst part was he didn't know whether he should be worried or angry. Instead he had just settled for an uncomfortable middle ground of the two.

* * *

Owen rolled his chair over to Tosh's desk.

"Is it just me, or is it a little cold in here." He looked at Jack, who was glaring down at them absently and Ianto, who was tidying with a little more focus than necessary.

"It's always cold for you Owen. You have very poor circulation right now." Ianto replied sharply, stuffing a tray of paper cups into the bin bag.

Owen just snorted.

"Suppose you're right. But I'm not quite dead enough not to notice you and Jack."

Ianto just glared at him and disappeared down the stairs.

"Here's to hoping this doesn't last. I'm stuck with the buggers all day tomorrow."

Tosh just rolled her eyes.

"Well at least you won't be abandoned at Gwen's wedding all day. I still don't know how all three of you got out of it. Not that I'm not happy for her of course, but…."

"All day at a wedding. Yes well, clearly I wasn't going." Owen avoided Tosh's eyes for a moment, and glanced over at Jack. "And Rhys would probably do his nut if Jack showed up. And Ianto….I dunno. Must be in the doghouse with Jack."

Ianto's head appeared between the railings.

"I'm not."

Owen shrugged.

"Then Jack is."

"There is no dog house Owen." Ianto said impatiently. "Why don't you….do something useful and leave us who are working alone then."

"You're the only one trying to make it look like your working mate!" He called out as Ianto dropped the bag by the cog door and headed for the doors to the downstairs.

"Where's he off to then?" Gwen asked, dusting off her hands as she emerged out of the hot house.

"I think he's going to sulk or wank. I know which one I'd chose." Owen replied, managing to sound rude and wistful at the same time.

"Well on that delightful note, I'm off to the rehearsal dinner then! See you all later!"

Tosh just looked at Owen and shook her head.

"What?" She threw him his coat .

"Come on. Let's get out of here. I'll buy you dinner."

Owen rolled his eyes at her.

"How generous of you."

* * *

Ianto sat down on the desk chair he had brought down some time ago. He had set himself up a sort of workstation down in the archives. Sometimes Jack came and they ate lunch here.

What was he supposed to do now. Ianto fiddled with his phone, absently wondering how he managed to get reception so deep in the hub. Did it mean that anything could reach down here? Or out there?

He jumped as his mobile buzzed. A text message. Apparently more than just phone signals could be broadcast down here.

Talia. 'What's wrong? Put down the dish cloth and call me!'

Ianto sighed. And chose the reply option.

"Hello? Yanno, is that you?" Her concerned voice came across the line almost immediately, and it actually managed to give Ianto some comfort.

"Yeah."

"Darling, what's wrong. I could tell…"

"Had a fight with Jack. Again."

"Hmmm. How's he taking the news?" The line went silent as Ianto rubbed the toe of his shoe against the ground, like a schoolboy caught out.

"Ianto. You haven't told him? No wonder you've had a fight!" She sounded scolding and sympathetic at once.

"I tried. Well, no, I didn't. But it shouldn't be such a big deal. I just said that we should probably hold of an anything….physical for a while."

"You know I can't be up there for another week. Are you going to throw your whole relationship with Jack off because you're afraid?'

"You don't understand! After Lisa-" Ianto had to stop himself. Even Talia didn't know about what had really happened to Lisa. He'd been able to hide any conflict at that time under a heavy shadow of grief.

"Ianto, I know you're afraid of losing him, but you'll lose him anyway after this. You can't just explain this away, even after I come up for a visit. He'll want to know. And he'll want to know from you sooner rather than later. If you wait…"

"I feel like a freak again."

"Darling." Talia said softly. Ianto felt his heart lift a little.

"Thanks Tal."

"I know how you feel." She replied. Ianto laughed.

"You don't say."

"Really. If you don't go talk to him now, then there won't be much of a point to my visiting." Her tone had turned serious and Ianto nodded to himself slightly.

"I'll….I guess I'll have to find a way to tell him."

"You know I just want what's best darling, I just want you to be happy."

"I know, I'm just so tired of this. I'm tired of lying, but I don't want to deal with telling the truth."

"Waiting will make it worse."

"Yes, yes, I know."

"Call me soon yeah? I have to arrange travel, but I'm excited to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either."

"Love you Yanno."

"Love." Ianto snapped the phone shut. And Jack stepped out from the shadow of the shelves, holding a plastic bag with sandwiches and boxed salads in it.

"You going to tell me then?" Ianto stood up sharply from the chair, wiping his hands along his pant fronts.

"I….I suppose I have to."

* * *

Jack looked at the two sandwiches and salad left over from lunch. He wouldn't eat it all. And Ianto was still down in the archives. Just because Ianto was being a jerk didn't mean that Jack thought he should go hungry.

He sighed and took the bag in one hand, a mug in the other for the bottle of orange juice, and clambered down the stairs.

He wasn't going to do happy, but he could at least do civil. They had to. Jack had to. Or else he was going to explode.

Jack wove through the lower levels, and turned along a corridor to his left when he heard the voice. It was from the room where Ianto had his archive's office. It was his own little space, yes, but at the same time, it had also become one of their spaces. Maybe it was best. Maybe it would be neutral ground.

"I'll….I guess I'll have to find a way to tell him."

Jack slowed his paces, approaching as silently as he could.

"I know, I'm just so tired of this. I'm tired of lying, but I don't want to deal with telling the truth."

Ianto was keeping something from him. What couldn't he tell him?

"Yes, yes, I know."

Well at least someone knew. Jack just wished it was him. And then he didn't.

"I can't wait to see you either….Love."

Jack felt his heart fall into his stomach. He didn't want to believe it. Didn't particularly even want to think it. But it managed to sneak in anyways. Was there someone else?

"You going to tell me then?" God he hoped not. But he couldn't stay wondering what was dragging them apart.

Ianto looked at him, his face a mix of apprehension and guilt.

"I….I suppose I have to."


	7. Chapter 7

Jack and Ianto were watching each other warily, shifting foot to foot. Ianto pressed his hands into his pockets, feeling the seams at the bottom against the tips of his fingers.

"I…."

"If it's someone else just tell me. I've dealt with rejection before." Ianto's eyes snapped up.

"What?"

"If that's who you were talking to…if that's what this is about…I want you to tell me."

Ianto winced at the words and the wave of hurt behind it. It seemed to buzz heavily behind his eyes.

"Damn it, I…I didn't want this to happen. I just didn't want you to be upset with me. For me hiding things again. I just-"

"Hiding what! Why won't you tell me! Whatever it is, it's got to be better than this." Jack took a step forward, looking forceful and desperate at the same time. At his movement, Ianto stepped back, stumbling a little. He ground his hand into his eye socket, letting out a bit of a groan. The buzz was growing, louder and louder, and each time he flinched he could hear Jack's doubt towards him shatter the buzz like a stone through glass, only for it to come back louder than before.

"Jesus Jack, can't you stop thinking so bloody loud!" Ianto spat out, his back hitting against the cold wall.

"Thinking?" Jack sounded incredulous.

"Yes! Thinking. I can hear you doing it so I know you are." Ianto ground out. The buzz was becoming a sharp stab as Jack moved closer.

"How can you-" Jack was interrupted as Ianto sucked in a heavy breath and his head fell back, knocking against the brick.

"I'm psychic Jack! Put it all together for fuck's sake!"

Jack stopped shifting towards him. He looked at the other man warily.

"You're psychic. Read my mind psychic." Ianto spared a glance at Jack's face. It was exactly what he'd been afraid to see if Jack found out. Wariness, suspicion, a little bit of fear. He had to explain. Even though the buzz was making him nauseous.

"I can't read your mind, I just…it's mostly emotions and sometimes, if it is thoughts it's just like being in a crowd, I only get a word here or there. Mostly just buzz."

Jack crossed his arms. He was torn. Things like this were vital to him as the head of Torchwood Three. These things were risks. Skills and at times advantages, yes, but his mind flashed to Tosh. To Mary. To times in the past when this type of skill had threatened safety, endangered innocent lives, cost him friends.

And yet. And yet he only wanted to sit down and take Ianto's head in his hands and ease away the drone inside.

"You didn't tell me this."

"I know. I didn't want you to think that I was hiding it from you." Ianto murmured.

"But you were."

"It's not like that Jack. I thought I could just…handle it, and then it would go away. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal."

Jack shook his head incredulously.

"You think you being able to read everyone's mind isn't a big deal!"

Ianto just winced, rubbing the spot between his eyes.

"Jack, stop shouting."

He looked at Ianto furiously for a moment.

"In your head Jack. Yell at me all you want outloud," He continued. "You're just screaming in there right now, and I can't think to talk while you're doing that."

Jack tried to take as deep a breath as he could in through his nose.

"Fine. But I want an answer. Do you really think that this wasn't a big deal?"

Ianto looked up at Jack, squinting slightly.

"Look, I can't read everyone's mind. I can't read most people's minds. It only happens if they let me in first."

Jack paced away and then back at Ianto. He stopped a few feet away, one hand on his hip, the other running through his hair.

"So you can read mine then?"

Ianto swallowed, letting one leg slide down. He tugged his tie a bit looser.

"Not read. Not…but….a bit….I suppose."

"Who else." Ianto frowned again, trying to blink away some of the sharp pain right behind his eyes.

"Um…No one since….well…Talia…She's who I was on the phone to. Talia's one of them. And, uh, my cousin Daf. You."

"Three people?" Jack said skeptically.

"Yeah. It's not like I can go hijacking people's heads or anything. Jack. I would have told you if it was dangerous." Ianto said. He couldn't help the bit of hurt that snuck into his tone, even though he knew he probably didn't deserve to.

"Why didn't you tell me anyways." Jack responded.

Ianto stared at him, unsure how to say what he wanted.

"Because I'm uncomfortable with it. And I didn't think it mattered. Look….it was just a thing, as a kid, and when I was in London. After that…It didn't matter. It was like it turned off."

Jack sighed, pulling out the desk chair, and settling his chin onto his palm.

"Yan," Ianto felt the softening of the buzz, and the release of tightness in his chest at the soft sound of Jack's pet name for him. "I don't know what you want me to say."

He risked looking up at Jack, at looking him in the eyes.

"Well good, that makes two of us then."

"I really wish you'd just told me about this."

"Well I wish I'd never had it." Ianto muttered.

They sat in silence, Ianto trying to relax, and Jack trying to relax himself for Ianto's sake. He knew about this type of thing. About empathic ability. He had a very little experience with it, from the Time Agency, from Torchwood. And yet, at the same time, he was beyond confused.

"Can I…" Jack started. "I want to know, I want you to tell me…about this. About whatever you want to tell me. I'm not happy about this. And there are things we'll have to go over, for Torchwood. And for us. But…I'm not angry Ianto."

Ianto reached out and wrapped his hand over Jack's knee. There was a spark. And Jack understood it now, knew that it was about them. About their connection, Ianto's connection to him.

"No," Jack shook his head. "No, I am a bit mad."

Ianto looked up warily, but Jack thought, hoped that he could feel the affection that was there, mingled with anger and another emotion.

"Yan, don't scare me like that again.

"'M sorry." Ianto gave him a half hearted smile. "If it helps, I haven't been happy about this. I never meant for it. I just….Talia is coming down, to help, and I just wanted to fix it, guard myself against it. Make it go away again."

"Talia?" Jack frowned at the name. He'd heard it before. One of Ianto's uni friends.

"Yeah. I met her because of it. In Cardiff, when I was a kid."

"But you grew up in Bangor."

"I spent a lot of time down here for a while."

Jack waited, feeling there was more to this.

"At…..the hospital."

"Why?"

"I got a special diagnosis on my standardized testing in school. Between that and some behavioural issues, my parents were worried about me. They had a trial program at the hospital, and my mum and dad found out about it. I came down with my dad on weekends."

"How old were you?"

"About once a month, from eight to thirteen."

"Five years?"

"Yeah."

"What kind of program?"

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest.

"Torchwood program."

Jack shifted uncomfortably.

"Torchwood One."

"Yah. Didn't really know it at the time, found out later. But I got a diagnosis, and they taught me how to control things so…"

"What sort of things?" Jack raised a brow at Ianto.

"Respectable levels of control and blocking for empath and cognitive prediction skills." Ianto shrugged. "I suppose I just got used to it after a while. Built in the methods they taught into everyday things."

"But…"

"You saw my file Jack. Moderate in school. A drifter afterwards. Why would Torchwood want me? They didn't take on a lot of people who've got library aid, coffee shop and yard boy on their CV."

"They kept you on file." Jack deduced.

"Yeah. All the staff got a level of psychic training, but they kept tabs on people who already had an aptitude."

"And they slipped it into the standardized tests." Jack said, shaking his head. "That's exactly why I didn't like them. They never did their own footwork."

Ianto laughed slightly at this.

"So…should I test my drinks?"

Jack shook his head.

"No. There's a lot to sort out, but that's what we're going to do. I don't think I could give you up. Maybe that's a dangerous thing, but…" Jack shrugged.

Ianto stared at him, before climbing up to his knees and shifting in front of Jack. He reached around and pulled Jack towards him, pressing his mouth against the other man's.

Jack's hand ran along the nape of his neck, knowing that Ianto liked this, discovering that more than before, he like it to.

"I want to touch you. I need to." Jack murmured against his lips. "I need you to say…."

"We can…I still…we need to be careful. It's….it gets too strong Jack. Until I can build up a guard." Ianto whispered against his skin.

"Does this mean…You can feel what I feel for you?" Jack sounded almost shy, and Ianto felt the buzz blossom into a warm flush. He smiled at the feeling of affection. "I suppose that's a yes."

Ianto kissed along his neck.

"I wish you could feel it. Not when it hurts. Just….what I feel right now." Jack's knees opened and he pulled Ianto closer to him.

"What would it feel like?" Jack pulled back, looking Ianto in the eye. Ianto knew what he wanted. What he needed to hear. It was what Ianto could feel right now.

"Like…I love you. Like I was promising it." Jack kissed him then. Kissed him, and pulled him tight to his chest.

"How long til Talia's here?"

Ianto laughed. For what felt like the first time in days.

"A week."

"Ugh. Okay." Jack pressed his forehead into Ianto's neck. "Any chance you can feel sexual frustration?"

"I don't need to read you for that Jack. I've got plenty of that on my own."


	8. Chapter 8

They were at Ianto's flat, putting away the rubbish left over from dinner. It had been two days since Jack had found out, and he still wasn't exactly sure how to act around Ianto in some moments. He had questions he still wanted to ask. Needed to. But it just hadn't seemed like the right time, right mood, right song playing in the background from the iPod dock. As they settled onto the couch in the lounge, Jack found himself glancing across the cushions.

"Go ahead. Ask." Ianto only glanced back at him for a moment before turning back to the telly. "What ever it is must be better than this…" It was an uncomfortable but respectful reference to Jack's demand two days ago.

"I have things I have to ask. As your boss. As your friend. As…" He didn't quite know what to fill his own pause with.

"I'll answer as best I can." Jack took a deep breath.

"Which means?"

"I can only tell you what I understand myself. But what I do know…all of it….I'll tell you."

"Was this on your Torchwood One file?"

"Yes."

"Then why wasn't it on your database entry."

"I concealed it."

"When?"

"Superficially, for general access, I requested it formally as soon as I joined. But more permanently, after the battle I did it myself."

"Can you retrieve it?"

"Yes. I might need help. Tosh."

"Have you read it?"

"No."

Jack watched him closely before nodding.

"I would have." Jack admitted.

"I've never really liked having this. I wasn't really interested. And I never had the time and access at the same point, if I had."

"Have you ever used the ability to participate in anything destructive?"

Ianto listened the official phrasing behind the question.

"The only thing it's even been destructive for is me." Ianto shrugged, and Jack felt a pull of worry about it. But he wanted this over. Wanted his Captain Jack questions to end, and let his real questions seep out while he ran his fingers over Ianto's knee.

"Are you aware that you will have to undergo extra psychological examinations during required staff physicals?"

"Oh God." He rolled his eyes. "We don't have to tell Owen do we?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes of course. I did it at Torchwood One, I suppose I can do it again once a year."

Jack nodded.

"If it makes it better," He said, breaking for a moment out of his official route. "I'll do that part, or get Martha in for a few days."

"Right."

"Lastly. Is there anything else that Torchwood needs to know? Anything at all."

"I like long walks on the beach." Ianto returned, looking at the flashing telly screen, clearly a bit chaffed by all the questions.

"Yan." Jack voice was softly reproving, and Ianto felt guilty for his cheeky remark.

"No. Nothing that I can think of. And if I do, I'll tell you."

Jack's shoulders seemed to sink more heavily into the cushions.

"Anyone in the family have it?"

It wasn't necessarily a more comfortable topic for him, but Ianto was at least a bit grateful that the mood was shifting between them.

"Like I said. Cousin Dafydd. He lives in Cornwall though. Don't see him much. And I think my taid, my mum's father. She said it came through the family like male pattern baldness. Through the mother to the son."

"You knew him?"

"Not well. Passed when I was a tyke."

"Do your sisters and Lewis know?"

"They've an idea. We don't talk about it much. It gets jumbled between psychology and my nain's bedtime fairy stories."

Jack nodded slowly, and Ianto could only watch the bob of his adam's apple in a slantwise glance. A faint buzz started up again behind the bridge of his nose.

"Did you really think I would, that I could just end us because of this?" Ianto shifted his weight, picking at the edge of his beer label with his thumbnail.

"I dunno. Jack, you just…" Ianto looked a bit uncomfortable but Jack was slightly reassured by the faint blush the coloured his neck. "You still make me nervous some times, you know?"

Jack stared at him until Ianto ducked his head forward, expectant to a response.

He could only lean into Ianto and kiss him, soft and warm.

"Good. Can't have you getting bored of me." He laughed a little, but the smile faded quickly and Ianto could see the insecurity deep inside the words. Most people would have just seen bravado and confidence, but Ianto didn't need the subtle swell of worry from Jack to know what he really meant.

"Not very likely." Ianto said, words holding more reassurance than they would seem, hiding in the crook of his mouth and the run of his fingers along the back of Jack's arm.

"But Jack…I still can't…."

Jack nodded, a bit stiffly yes, but nodded.

"I know. And it's okay. Not enjoyable, but…..I can wait. We can wait."

Ianto nodded.

"And I mean…We can still, well, test the boundaries?"

"You sure about this?" Jack asked, trying not to sound pathetically hopeful.

"Oh yeah." Ianto nodded firmly. "It's not like I've been enjoying this either."

Ianto shifted on his feet slightly before looking Jack straight in the eye.

"You're happy now, that I told you. You aren't angry. You don't feel angry any more."

"You can tell?" Jack watched him carefully, taking in the way that Ianto clenched his hands slightly.

"Yeah. I can tell."

"What else?"

Ianto frowned a bit.

"Dunno really. It's been years since I actual tried to take it in…maybe….sleepy? But that could just be me." Ianto smiled a little, clearly uncomfortable with the line of questioning.

"I'll head back then. Get some sleep. We'll have lots of time to figure this all out."

"I've been at it for some twenty years." Ianto mumbled, standing and looking around the room for glasses or plates to take back to the kitchen . Jack stood back, leaning against the wall with his hands hooked under his braces.

"If you wanted to, you can stay." Ianto threw over his shoulder, his catch on Jack's gaze faltering.

"Would it be too much?" Jack asked cautiously. He was surprised at the smile that slipped across Ianto's face.

"No. It's actually kind of….nice." He grinned at Jack and took a can and a mug into the kitchen, dropping them on the counter by the sink.

"Really?" Jack found himself leaning against the kitchen doorframe, slightly intrigued.

Ianto looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, when it's not overwhelming, I guess it can feel nice. And when you aren't upset."

He passed him and Jack followed behind towards the bedroom, lights turning to shadows behind them as Ianto's hand flicked along points of the wall by rote.

"What does it feel like?"

"Sort of…like a heartbeat against your skin." Ianto said thoughtfully. "But more in your head. And sometimes against your heart too." He said this as he slipped from his clothes, caution and cotton falling to the bedside. He crawled and shifted his way under the covers. Jack laid his braces over the edge of the side table drawer, in a habit he had developed. A habit here in Ianto's bedroom.

Jack laid on his side next to the other man, reaching out to touch his hot skin. He ran his hand along the ridge of Ianto's hip.

"You said…people have to let you in?"

"Umhmm." Ianto murmured, shifting into the soft touch. He'd missed this. Missed being lulled to sleep with Jack's fingers tracing an infinity loop on his skin.

"Can you tell? When they do it?"

"I dunno. Kind of. It's only happened a handful of times." His word were obstructed by the pillow and a tiredness that had overtaken him under his duvet and Jack's fingertips.

"Do you remember when I did it?"

Jack wanted to know, wanted to be able to place this point in their relationship that he had apparently missed out on.

"Pasg."

"What?"

"Easter. In the car back from Aoife's."

"Oh."

" Dyou 'member?" Ianto mumbled into the pillow.

"I wanted you to know how I felt. That I was happy."

"I can feel it, when you're happy…..Usually against my leg." Ianto snorted a bit at his simple, lewd joke.

"Yan." Jack smirked a bit, but was insistent in the sentiment of his remarks.

Ianto's sleep-heavy eyes slipped across Jack's features and expression. His hand lifted, lying heavily on the joint of neck and jaw.

"I can feel it Jack." He took the palm of Jack's hand and pressed it against his chest, shifting closer to the other man's warmth.

"Me too." Jack murmured into Ianto's hair.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- I am sorry about the ridiculous delays. Unbelievably busy and all my free time has been nap-based. But here's a longer chapter, and there will be a much shorter wait for the rest. Thank you for anyone who is still sticking with me. I hope that people are still interested in one of the ways I see the boys.

* * *

Jack had stayed over the last four nights, sometimes the two of them purposefully separated from touch by layers of sheets. But that was just a precaution. So that Ianto didn't get…..well….accidentally overwhelmed.

After spooning against Jack most of last night Ianto had forced himself to crawl out from under the sheet and rest ontop of it with only the coverlet to keep him warm. That, and the thoughts and comforting hum of Jack nearby.

Ianto rolled over with a thick exhalation, pushing his face into the pillow. Jack was still there. He didn't need any feeling humming against his temples for that. Especially because Jack was snoring to wake the dead.

"Emhhnn. Jack, b'quiet." Ianto nudged his shoulder.

"Yan?"

"You're snoring."

"N'mnot. That must have been you."

"I have to get up." Ianto rolled his eyes, and started to throw back the coverlet.

"Stop!" He felt his breath catch in his chest as Jack's arms grabbed him and pulled him down.

That urgency in Jack's voice should have sent off a buzz of concern for Ianto. But there was nothing. Oh.

Ianto stopped wondering when Jack pressed an enthusiastic and smothering kiss against his mouth. It was a weird and awkward kiss, as Ianto was upside-down, his nose pressed against Jack's chin. But when Jack pulled back and commanded "Okay, go!" Ianto laughed loudly.

"Good morning then."

"How did that feel?" Jack asked cautiously. Ianto sat down on the edge of the bed, drawing up one leg.

"I think I can generally go with good, all round."

"Yeah?" Jack propped himself up, grinning widely.

"Yeah." Ianto leaned forward and kissed him. He let himself drop more of his weight onto Jack. A hot hand squeezed gently his arm and lips pressed down the taut tendon along his neck. Ianto pulled back, ducking his head.

"Right. Okay. Sorry." Jack sighed, untangling his fingers from Ianto's collar.

"Does it help if I say that I really want this to go away?" Ianto groaned. Jack gently stroked his hair.

"No."

Ianto snorted a short laugh.

"Well, on the upside for the both of us, I have to take the day on-call."

"So how is you not coming into the hub good for us both?" Jack frowned. He had shuffled to the edge of the bed and slipped his feet into his trousers. Ianto looked up from gathering a fresh pair of shorts and a vest.

"Um, I'm picking up Talia from the station today."

Jack looked at him, his eyebrow raised.

"I thought she wasn't going to make it til tomorrow?"

Ianto looked away for a minute and Jack noticed the top of his ears turning pink.

"It's not very nice to be enjoying my discomfort this much Jack." Ianto retorted. He had felt an almost contagious wave of what could only be considered mirth from Jack. It felt kind of like swallowing a packet of sherbet fizz, but more obnoxious.

"It's not very nice to hide things. Why is she coming early Ianto?"

Jack had slipped his braces over his shoulders and sauntered around the bed, his hands settling on Ianto's hips.

"I might have….asked her to come early."

"Hmmm…..and why would you do that." Jack ran his hands up Ianto's waist, but tried to hold himself back.

"Well, I might have said, mentioned really, that I…"

"Was dying for a shag?"

"Yeah. Something like that." Ianto's ears were red, but he was still grinning.

"Well as long as it's not just me."

"Definitly not." Ianto pressed forwards and Jack swallowed heavily as he felt the pressure from Ianto against his hip.

"Ooooookay. I'm going to get into work early and take a shower. I'll check in later. Keep your comm on as much as possible."

Jack leaned in to kiss him goodbye, and Ianto responded, capturing his lips as he tried to pull back.

"How long did you say it would take." He mumbled, pressing kisses across Ianto's face and neck. "Yan….Yan. Yan." Jack pushed himself back, with difficulty, and stepped backwards towards the bedroom door.

"You need to get ready and I need to go have a shower. I'll talk to you soon." Jack turned out and grabbed his coat on the way out the door. He could hear the rustle of Ianto's sleep clothes hitting the floor on his way to the bath. "A really, really cold, long shower." Jack told himself as he shut Ianto's flat door behind him.

* * *

Ianto looked down the platform, rocking back on his heels as he scanned the flow of passengers stepping down fro the car.

"Talia!" He called out, a wide smile opening his face. She looked up, struggling to right her rolling bag. He started to jog forwards and helped her pull her bag over to the side of the platform. She dropped down her backpack and jacket and jumped at Ianto.

"Yanno!" He caught her in his arms, accepting her arms around his neck. "It's so good to see you!"

"How was your trip?"

"Terrible. And I'm starved. Can we get out of here?"

"Yeah, my car's out in the park. You don't mind staying at mine?"

"Do you still have that red couch?"

"No."

"Then I'm good with it."

"Hey. I liked that couch."

"Boy, you have no idea how many times I had to convince Lisa to keep that around at yours."

"She said she liked that couch. It was comfortable!"

"It smelled. And she lied."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"C'mon."

They settled into the front seat of the car. Ianto turned the key in the ignition and looked at Talia.

"What?"

"This is the first time I've seen you really happy at the mention of Lis."

"I…"

"It's okay, you know. Good. Great actually. You should remember the good things about Lisa."

"I am. I have been."

"Because of?"

"I don't know. It's possible."

"You always look so well with love Ianto."

"How do you know?"

"You full well know how I know. You let me in long ago. The same way you know right now that I have someone I haven't told you about." Ianto blushed a bit

"I wasn't trying to pry."

"I know that you twat. Come on. Let's get back to yours before I eat my own foot."

* * *

Dinner had been good. Talia's father was Korean, and her mother was born and raised in France. It made for some interesting dishes.

"Alright, come over her. We should get started. We need to establish a baseline before we try to ramp you down."

Talia moved over to Ianto's living room and shoved the coffee table aside. She sat down on the rug and Ianto sat down opposite.

"Where would you like to start then?"

"I'm not sure. It's been a long time since I've needed this."

"Okay. Well. Tell me about the start."

"In the car?"

"Yeah. Where were you going?"

Ianto leaned back on his palms.

"Coming back from Aoife's for Easter supper."

"What happened there?"

"Lew punched him. We almost shagged in Aoife's spare room." Talia snorted loudly in laughter.

"Anything that would trigger the strong emotions?"

"He mentioned about how no one would defend him like Lew had."

"Alright. Anything else?" Talia frowned, getting that look on her face that said she was cataloguing his responses away in her mind.

"We…um…"

"It's okay Yanno…." Talia reached out and took Ianto's hand. Ianto regripped her fingers, and shrugged.

"I hate doing this." He mumbled. "Makes me feel like a nance."

"You're wonderfully manly. Now spill."

"Said 'I love you' for the second time."

Talia could feel the reluctant glow Ianto gave out.

"I see. Was this in the car?"

"No. At Aoife's." Talia nodded, squeezing Ianto's hand. That was strong emotional experience. It would have been enough to build up energy between this Jack and her Yanno.

"Yanno, what exactly did happen in the car then? The spark?"

He nodded.

"Our hands touched."

"Did he reach for you?"

"I dunno. It seemed like…it was neither of us. Or both."

"Could Jack have to same ability?"

Ianto considered it. It was infinitely possible, knowing jack, but it had never come up, and had never show itself in any of their missions.

"Do you think he was actually trying to open up?"  
Talia shrugged. She didn't think that, at this point. But she didn't want to pre-judge the situation, especially with how little she knew about Jack.

"Maybe he reached out. Because he didn't think you could hold on."

"I didn't think I could make the link without trying."

"You might be able to. That's what it seems."

"Okay."

Ianto thought for a moment, putting both his hands on his knees. Talia watched him, tried to feel something. Flitting thoughts, in Ianto's unique though pattern, were moving around too quickly for her to trace right now.

"Where are we going?"

Ianto looked up and frowned.

"I just really didn't expect this. At all. And the spark was...I just played it off, figured it was nothing, until I got that feeling again. Like being spun around in a washer quickly. Nausea. Like running about on the merry-go-round at the park for too long."

Talia nodded in understanding.

"What triggered? There must have been something big for Jack to intrude on you that much so suddenly."

"I was teasing him…about…his name. And…he said… I think he said something about wanting other people to know about us."

"So that was the first reaction point?"

"Yeah."

"Should we start there?"

Ianto sighed.

"Spose so." Ianto shifted around, laying his head into Talia's accepting lap.

"Always loved your curls." Talia grinned, ruffling Ianto's hair. "Okay. Ready?"

"Yeah." Ianto nodded firmly.

Talia's hands moved to his shoulders, thumbs spreading over the line of Ianto's collarbones.

Ianto's mind floated over the conversation, but blocked out parts quickly, trying to move onto something else.

"Don't be embarrassed." Talia reminded him. Tell me something else.

At the memory of that night those words prompted, Ianto felt a jolt and Talia pressed down on his shoulders to keep him lying down.

"Did you catch it?"

Talia nodded. She had heard Ianto's words, his responding emotions to Jack that night.

"Take a minute. Relax. Try to just think of what happened. We'll work on the rest."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- Enjoy!

* * *

Ianto was sitting on the floor in front of his couch, in between Talia's knees. They had finished with what Talia was calling their "session," and had turned on the telly.

"Frankie Boyle's brill, don't you think?" Talia commented, licking pudding off of her spoon.

"More of a Hugh Dennis fan myself." Ianto said, considering the screen. "And I don't mind Mitchell and Webb. I've got some Peep Show on the recorder if you want to watch that."

"That's just cause you think he's fit."

"Yes, well what can I say. Mitchell's a handsome bloke." Ianto rolled his eyes, nudging her knee playfully with his head.

"Oh shut it boy." Talia laughed. "Which reminds me, do you have any pictures of this Jack of yours."

"He's not 'mine.'" Ianto mumbled. Talia ran a hand through his hair. "He just barely mentioned it, and I freaked out on him. I don't even know where we're at right now."

"Yanno," Talia scolded him lightly. "I know you're….careful."

Ianto was pretty sure this wasn't the word that she had wanted to use, probably was leaning more towards 'insecure', or 'a twat.'

"But you two…the fact that you even have to go through this, that you're getting overwhelmed with him…It's got to be a big deal."

Ianto replied with a thoughtful hum and a shrug.

"Now…a picture? Please?"

Ianto leaned his head back, a faint smile on his face.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Talia laughed, and pushed him to stand up.

"Fine. Let me grab my phone."

Ianto disappeared into the bedroom, grabbing his satchel, and returning to plunk down on the couch. Talia reappeared from the hall with her phone, and had flipped it open, scrolling through the photos on it.

"Here. I look like hell, but…." Ianto took the phone and smiled.

"She's pretty. Where did you meet?"

"Ana was the maid of honour at a colleague's wedding last summer." Ianto grinned at the smile on Talia's face.

"What's she like?"

"Good. Funny, smart, a neat freak, which drives me mad, but I'm more than willing to put up with that. She works at a design and architecture firm."

"Did you tell her about everything?"

"Well, I told her that I work as a counselor, and it just kind of grew from there. She knows as much as she wants to."

"Do…" Ianto frowned slightly. There had always been a weird frame of manners around this issue for Ianto. He was never quite sure what was considered rude to ask. "Do you two have a link?"

"No. Not now. I mean….I told her about it, but we decided that we wanted to build trust outside of that before it became an issue. I didn't want it to seem like I had some sort of power to lord over her that she couldn't have too. Maybe sometime in the future."

Ianto nodded thoughtfully.

" I never thought to have that conversation with Jack. I guess I just hoped it would never come up."

Talia looked at Ianto carefully.

"Yanno. I know that we've chosen different ways to deal with this. I know you aren't comfortable with it really, and I can't say that I fully understand. I've embraced it. You chose to suppress it when you can. But you need to know that this isn't anything to be embarrassed about. You don't have to love it, but don't hate it."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Says the girl whose sex life hasn't gone to shite because of it."

"Aw. My poor deprived boy." Talia shook her head. Ianto was again stepping around the issue, but she'd let it slide for now. They'd already had to go over a lot already today. "Now come on. Show me what you're missing out on."

Ianto reached into his bag and pulled out his diary.

"You still keep one?" Talia murmured, looking at the stuffed pages and worn cover. It had been one of the exercises they had started in the program when they were kids.

"Yeah." Ianto flipped through the pages to where a sheet of thick blue paper was wedged, folded in half. He pulled it out and opened it up to show a thin stack of glossy photos.

He picked through it and pulled out one of the team around a table at the pub.

"The one on the right. Blue shirt."

Talia took the photo and scanned over not only Jack, but the rest of the team before settling back on Jack again.

"Amazing eyes." She glanced up at Ianto, who was leaning slightly over her shoulder.

"Yeah." Talia giggled at the soft tone in Ianto's voice. He frowned at her as his cheeks pinked.

"Someone's all lovey-eyed." Talia teased.

Ianto snatched the picture back, but not before taking another glance.

"Mnot."

"Do I get to meet him?"

"Yeah, probably. I figured you'd want to meet him, so he'll probably come over for supper tomorrow night."

"You have to go to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we can do a little work when I get home, and we have to weekend off for it."

"Alright then. Well, I think that it's time for me to get some sleep. And since you're sitting on my bed for the night, I think it's time for you to bugger off."

Ianto shut the diary and stood up.

"I'll go get you the sheets."

* * *

Ianto slipped out of the jeans and rugby jersey he wore all day, leaving him in his shorts and vest as he crawled under the covers.

The pillow on the far side of the bed, Jack's side, he thought, still smelled of him. Warm and spicy and short of overpowering. Just strong enough to surround him despite the slight distance. Ianto sighed and let his hands thump back onto the pillowcase over his head.

The quiet filled only by Talia's footsteps and the running of the kitchen tap as she got herself a glass of water was broken by the ring of his phone. It chattered across his bedside table with a flash of blue light and the "I Believe in Miracles (Sexy Thing)" instrumental that Jack had chosen. Ianto snatched the phone and opened it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi there." Ianto smiled and rolled back to lie down on the bed, resting one arm over his head with ease.

"Hi. Everything alright at the hub today?"

"Nah. Whole place pretty much fell down. Walls, windows, exploding plant pots."

"Ha….um, you are joking, right?" Jack's heavy laugh over the line was reassuring to him and he was able to fully relax.

"Yeah, everything's fine here. Only so much can go wrong when there's only the three there. Owen amused himself with the proteus gland. Tosh got disturbingly gleeful when I suggested that she run her yearly scan of the language and dialect database early."

"And you?"

"Buried my sexual frustration in arms practice and fixing the boiler. Which reminds me, how's Talia?"

"Fixing the boiler better not mean what it did last time. Beating something with a wrench isn't actually fixing."

"Did it work after?"

"Yes, but that's not the point is it." Ianto laughed. "Talia's fine. We worked around a few things today, set a bit of a baseline to work down from."  
"Sounds good."

"Yeah. I wanted to ask...do you want to come for supper tomorrow? Tal said she wanted to meet you."

"Sure."

"Alright. I'll run to Tesco on lunch tomorrow."

"Oh. Get those cheese straw things if you can."

"Okay."

There was a slow silence as they listened to each other's breath across the line.

"I thought about you today."

Ianto swallowed at the low gravelly tone in Jack's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Mmmm. I came in and had a cold shower first thing."

"Oh?" Ianto replied, surprised where Jack was leading them.

"Didn't help much. I kept thinking about the time you had ice cube on your tongue last summer."

Jack paused.

"You still there?"

"Yes." Ianto replied shortly. "You were saying?"

Jack laughed lowly. It looked like Ianto was as open to pushing the limit of their barrier as he was.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N- So I was going to leave the conversation as it was, but thank TracyLynn's review for the transcript of that phonecall. Eep nervous!smutwriting. Enjoy and feel free to comment to your heart's content.

* * *

"Sorry to leave you alone all day,"

"Don't even worry about it. I've already arranged to have lunch with Moira. And I think I might steal your bed and have a bit of a lie-in til then."

"Okay, well, there isn't much in the fridge, but have whatever you can find, um, call my cell if you need anything…And I should be back around five. Hopefully."

"Alright. I think I can handle myself for a few hours." Talia teased. She pushed Ianto towards the door, slipping something into his pocket. "Don't look until you're at work. I'll see you in a bit." Ianto grabbed his carry-bag on the way out the door and took the bagel that Talia handed him.

"Love Tal."

"Love Yanno."

* * *

"Mmmm. Cinnamon raisin." Jack grabbed the end of the bagel from Ianto's mouth and took a crunch. Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Less butter than usual." Jack commented, swallowing the bite thickly in one go.

"Talia made it for me. I was running late." Ianto laid his bag down on the couch and pulled out his organizer.

"Morning Ianto." Tosh smiled as she clicked into the hub in her boots. "Jack,"

Owen followed behind her but only nodded slightly. He threw his jacket over the rail and clattered down into the autopsy pit.

"Oh, meeting in ten everyone. Up in the boardroom. Yan?" Jack pressed his hands together with a smile.

"I'll bring up a carafe." Ianto hung his jacket on the coat tree and pushed up his sleeves.

* * *

He slipped into the kitchenette, which was his own little corner of the main hub. The only appliances that could be touched by anyone were the toaster oven and the minifridge. Everything else was off bounds.

He turned the handle on the coffee machine and pulled out the filter. And thought about last night.

* * *

"_Where did I leave off?"_

"_Ice cube."_

"_Riiiiiight."_

"_You liked that?"_

"_You couldn't tell?"_

"_Well, I…." Ianto spluttered slightly. Jack would be smiling on the other side of the line. He always seemed to marvel at the times when he was able to catch Ianto off kilter._

"_Mmmmmm. I liked it and you know it. Is that why you always tease me when you have a cool drink? Why you swirl your tongue around an ice cube until it's just a sliver that you run over your lips."_

"_Well…."_

"_I always think about how you did that, until the ice was a sliver, and how you ran it down my chest."_

"_You shivered all over."_

"_It was more than the ice." Ianto smiled and leant back against his headboard, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position. He checked that the bedroom door was firmly closed._

"_To the best of my memory I went further than your chest."_

"_Your tongue was cool, but fuck you were hot." Jack laughed lowly._

"_You like to see me like that, don't you." Ianto murmured._

"_You have the prettiest eyes when you look up at me."_

"_Pretty?" Ianto said roughly._

"_Mmmmhmmm. Do you have any idea what you do with those innocent eyes looking up at me while your mouth's around me?"_

"_You love to think that you corrupted me, don't you." Ianto let his hand slid down inside the waist of his shorts. "What would you say if you really knew about what I've done."_

_Jack mostly knew about Ianto's past relationships, but he happened to know that Jack liked to hear about his experiences._

"_It wouldn't be what I would say that you ought to worry about." Ianto swallowed thickly, letting his hand clasp around himself._

"_So no reaction if I told you that I shagged some gorgeous blonde against the side of a pub in Glasgow. That he left marks on my neck that I had to hide for a week. That I don't even know what his name was."_

"_Bullshit." Jack's breath was becoming audible._

"_You're calling my bluff?"_

"_What would you do if I was?"_

"_I'll have to show you some time. Prove it."_

"_What, seduce me? Find me at some bar and whisper something filthy in my ear? Drag me out into the alleyway?"_

"_I want to fuck you." Ianto said, a faint lisping hiss to his tone that he knew hit Jack right in the gut. "Something like that? You'd like that, wouldn't you."_

"_Uhm." Jack groaned a little.  
"Sounds like that's something you'd like. You'd love it. Love the scrape of the brick against your back as I pressed you against it."  
"Yan…"_

"_Tell me that you'd like it Jack."_

"_I want it. I want you." Ianto tried to steady his breathing but the pace of his hand was making it difficult._

"_What about what I want Jack?"_

"_Say it again."_

"_Mmmmmm. Jack." He let his name end in a hiss as his eyes closed tightly at the sensations._

"_Anything Yan."_

"_I want you to come for me."_

"_I want your hands."_

"_You going to come for me?"_

"_Ugh." Jack grunted and Ianto could see the moisture that would have gathered in the short hairs around his temples._

"_Are you going to come for me Jack?"_

"_I want you here."_

"_I know. I want to touch you."_

"_Miss your touch Yan. Your fingers." Jack's breath hitched. "Lips."_

"_Come for me."  
"I love you." It came out as a hard gasp and Ianto knew that Jack had finished. His own rhythm faltered as he felt himself tighten and release. Their breaths settled together._

"_That was good." Jack laughed breathily over the line. "And we really ought to try that whole thing in the alley."_

"_As soon as I can deal with this closer than a phone line." Ianto mumbled, shimmying out of his shorts and throwing them to the other side of the room._

"_Well I can tell you, this is way better than the cold shower this morning."_

_Ianto snorted a laugh. _

"_I should hope so."_

"_I suppose I should let you get a few hours of sleep."_

"_Mmmmm." Ianto stretched. "Don't mind missing out on some sleep for this."_

"_I'll keep that in mind." Jack paused for a moment. He could hear Ianto yawn over the line. "Night Yan."_

"_Hey telediw, love you, hm?" Jack smiled._

"_Good night."_

"_Ni'" Ianto replied, pulling the phone away from his ear and closing it. He laid it back on the side table and rolled onto his back. He fell asleep with a contented sigh._

* * *

"What's the little smile about?" Tosh's voice broke Ianto out of his reverie.

"What? Oh, nothing much Tosh." Ianto replied, placing mugs on a tray.

"Did you do anything interesting last night?"

He smiled.

"Not really. I have a friend from uni up visiting. We just stayed in and had some supper and such."

"Sounds nice. I was over at Owen's, but I keep feeling bad about eating around him."

"I've told you Tosh. Don't bother about me." Owen interjected, grabbing the sleeve of biscuits off the counter."

Ianto frowned at him.

"Then why do you keep stealing the biscuit packs?"

"Like to look at the pictures and reminisce." His voice was acerbic, but both Ianto and Tosh could tell there was a hint of truth in what he was saying. "Honestly though Tosh. I won't have you dying of hunger just because I'm dead."

"Impromptu staff meeting without me? I'm hurt." The three looked to see Jack leaning over the counter. Ianto shrugged.

"The important people were here."

Jack frowned.

"Come on Owen. Let's take this up to the conference room." Tosh grabbed the filled carafe and handed Owen the tray of mugs.

Jack watched them climb the stairs for a moment, then turned back to Ianto.

"So I was thinking."

"Rather dangerous." Ianto smirked.

"ANYWAYS. I was wondering if I can cook dinner tonight." Ianto opened his mouth and shut it.

"I…you know that Talia's going to be there?"

"Yeah I remember. I want to make something for you guys. I had a few ideas I thought up this morning before you came in."

Ianto smiled at the thought of Jack thinking domestically, for him and his friend.

"Well….nothing weird?" Ianto teased.

"Depends on your definition." Jack challenged.

"Alright then. But the greenhouse it off limits."

Jack gave a worrying grin.

"And the secure archives."

"Unhunh." Jack turned and started up the stairs after Tosh and Owen.

Ianto grabbed the sugar and cream and followed after him.

"Or the cryogenics!"

Jack's laughter wasn't reassuring.


	12. Chapter 12

Jack's grocery list was reassuringly normal, to Ianto's relief. He was pushing a cart down the baking goods aisle in the Tesco's, trying to find baking soda, and trying to determine if he could stick the left over bit in the fridge to replace the two year old baking soda he had in it.

It was powder, not soda, wasn't it…Ianto sighed and dug into his pocket for the list. He pulled it out and another paper fluttered to the ground.

It must have been what Talia put in his pocket this morning. He knelt down to pick it up, finding the baking powder he needed on the bottom shelf next to him, and stood back up to lean his forearms on the push bar. It was red notepaper, with Talia's tall, looping cursive on it, the fold lines dividing it into neat quarters.

_Yanno. Your homework for the day to prep, so we can get through tonight's session and get onto the meal faster. Think about these things: Your favourite moment with Jack. Your least favourite moment with Jack. Favourite smell. Favourite taste. Favourite colour (Be specific). And favourite place to be touched (non-sexually, Ianto Jones). Have a good day!_

Ianto smiled over it, and continued down the aisle, thinking about the questions Tal had posed.

* * *

"Weevil at the Tesco's!" Gwen shouted up towards the gangway, shifting her bag on her shoulder.

Ianto could feel Jack's sigh as he settled the coat over his shoulder.

"Yan, why don't you go ahead. I'll take care of this and meet you there." Jack turned and squeezed Ianto's waist lightly.

"Alright, well, while you're there, you might want to pick up some more dark chocolate. I forgot it at lunch, and it'll cut out another trip tomorrow." Jack rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He wandered out to the gangway. "Gwen, go home. I'll take care of it."

"Ta Jack! Only, Rhys is cooking tonight, and I don't want to be late."

"Get going. I'll see you later."

"Good night Ianto! Have a good night with your friend!" Jack frowned a little until he realized that Gwen must have found out about Talia. Ianto appeared beside him.

"I think we'd both better be going sir."

* * *

"Heya, how was your day?" Ianto heard Talia calling out from down the bedroom hallway.

"Um, fine and all." He dropped the bags of groceries off in the kitchen and headed toward the bedroom. "You aren't still in bed are you?"

"If only." Talia laughed. Ianto leaned against the door frame to his bedroom and saw her sitting crosslegged on the floor. There was a shirt next to her on the floor, and the iPod speaker dock and a glass of water. "Where's Jack?"

"Just had to finish up something. Came up at the last minute. He'll probably be here at about half six."

"Excellent. Wanna get this out of the way then? Did you read the note and think about it?"

Ianto nodded, taking off his jacket and waistcoat and laying them on the end of the bed. Yes, he had thought about those questions. Pretty much all afternoon if he was honest. They were interesting to think of, and difficult to pin-point. He still wasn't quite sure of the full truthfulness of some of his answers.

"Okay then. Come here." Ianto grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed and lay down with his head on Talia's lap. Her hands spread out across his collarbones again, pushing aside his shirt slightly to contact his skin.

"Now, deep breathing to relax. You remember this right? One of the first things they made us do."

Ianto smiled. He remembered lying on thin blue mats with about six other children his age. Remembered the ridiculous recording that the psychologist and therapist had put on for them. It was meant to relax them, bring them into some state of receptiveness or something. It hadn't worked in the slightest.

Ianto had started giggling to himself about three minutes in, repressing the noise and movement that wanted to burst out. Until a slight glance to the side caught the eye of the girl next to him. Talia. And they'd both burst out in the laughter they had been hiding, and were followed by the others. That was where he first traced their friendship to.

"Good. I think that will probably relax you more than 'deep, invigorating breaths through your nostrils.'" Ianto grinned and settled his hands comfortably across his stomach. "Okay. Now, there's pretty much just one guideline in this. I need you to be honest. Just answer the first thing that comes to mind, not what you think you should say. And don't be modest."

"I'll try." Ianto smiled slightly, feeling only faintly nervous.

"First. I want to just test your highs and lows with Jack. So favourite and least favourite moment with Jack."

With Jack….that was the problem really. Not about Jack, or around Jack, or because of Jack. Moments with Jack. To Ianto that meant the moments between just them. Not with the team or family or weevils. Just the two of them.

"First time he traced the infinity symbol against my skin as I fell asleep for favourite, and when he left after the first time we shagged."

Hm. To be honest, they weren't the answers he had expected to come out. With all the disasters and betrayals, declarations and trysts, these small things were the most important to him?

"Good. It's important that they're moments between the two of you, in your relationship alone. Involving others really complicates these things too much." Talia murmured as she pressed down gently along Ianto's shoulders. "Alright, now I want you to alternate your focus between the two. I'll switch the pressure when I want you to switch thoughts."

* * *

After ten minutes Ianto felt strangely exhausted.

"Bugger this takes it out of you." He yawned. Talia smiled.

"You're just out of shape."

"So what the heck am I supposed to do now?" Ianto tilted his head back to look Talia in the eyes.

"Well. What we do is this. When the connection is too strong, in either direction, towards the poles that those moments represent, you're going to use sense anchors to settle them down."

"Sense anchors?" Ianto frowned, trying to card through his memory. " I don't remember that."

"It's not from TW PCC," Talia explained, referring to the program they had experienced under Torchwood One. " I came up with it. It worked well for some of my patients, especially those who showed signs of having the same skill set as us. No links though, not with patients." She assured him.

Ianto nodded faintly.

"We're going to start with smell, taste, sight and touch. The good thing is that once you learn how to do this, you can build more into your lifestyle and habits yourself. After a while it should become like second nature. And gradual control will lower the impact of any emotional spikes."

"I can do that."

"Alright. Do you want to start with one in particular?"

* * *

Jack jogged up the stairs to Ianto's floor, tucking the bag of groceries against his hip. He strolled down to the familiar blue door with a neat plate below the peephole saying 'I. Jones.' He wasn't sure if he ought to knock, so he just tried the knob quietly. It twisted under his hand and he pushed inside. His shoes kicked off onto the mat by the door and Jack laid his coat over the hall table, as an unfamiliar one hung in its usual place.

There wasn't any noise in the flat, except the occasional moments of pitch in a quiet conversation that traveled from down the hall. Jack smiled.

In the kitchen he laid down the bag and unpacked it, leaving the chocolate he had grabbed inside and laying it by his coat so he'd remember it when he left. Hopefully in the morning.

The rest of the ingredients were in the refrigerator and across the kitchen counter. Jack arranged them in the order that he'd need them. Vegetables, spices, a few special ingredients he'd bought to keep the meal a secret.

He pushed his shirt sleeves up to his elbows and washed his hands thoroughly, wiping them against a dishtowel that he slung over his shoulder. He pulled a cutting board closer to the edge and started preparing vegetables and chopping them into thin strips.

* * *

"Was that the door?" Ianto murmured.

"I think so. We're almost done Ianto. I just need you to focus on that colour again. Picture it. Picture it on something."

"I've a tie with it." Ianto replied slowly.

* * *

Jack was humming to himself as he turned on the stove element with a click and rush of blue flame. It struck him how naturally he moved around Ianto's kitchen. He had apparently memorized the drawers and cupboards in his time here. He looked down at his socked feet as he surreptitiously kicked a bit of peel under the edge of the cupboards. Ianto would scold him when he found it.

It had been a long time since he'd cooked a meal in a place he felt…..at home…in.

* * *

"Jack." Ianto murmured, sitting up slightly.

"I think he's in the kitchen." Talia stroked the hair off of Ianto's forehead.

"Yeah…yeah, I know. I felt…dunno, something from him." Ianto frowned and pushed himself up off his elbows. "Um, are we done for today then?"

She grinned, standing up behind him and dusting her hands off on the sides of her jeans.

"Yes. And anyways, I'm starving."

"Ugh me too. I hope whatever Jack's making is edible." Talia laughed. "Just let me get changed into my trackies."

* * *

"Heya. Dinner should be ready in about….ten minutes." Jack called out to the footsteps moving towards him. He stirred the pot in front of him, putting the lid on overtop and turning.

"Did you get everything sorted out at work?" Ianto asked. Jack jammed his hands in his pockets and nodded.

"Yeah. Managed to get everything tied up." Ianto rolled his eyes and opened the fridge. He pulled out a can and popped it open. "Got the chocolate too. In a bag by the door."

"We'll take it in the morning." Ianto replied, trying to peer under the pot lid.

"Hey! No peeking!" Jack pulled the tea towel from his shoulder and snapped it at Ianto's hands. He snatched them away, but Jack, feeling slightly warm at Ianto's mention of his staying the night, moved quickly. He grabbed Ianto's hands and placed them on his hips, manouevering their bodies close, while blocking Ianto from the stove.

"It smells so good though." Ianto grinned, rubbing his thumbs along the front of Jack's hips.

"So do I, but you can wait for that apparently." Jack meant it to be teasing, a light attempt at their situation. He didn't account for the hungry look in Ianto's eyes.

"Not funny." He leant in and kissed Jack eagerly. Jack's hands wrapped tightly around him, responding to the press of Ianto's mouth.

"Get yourselves decent!" A voice called out and the two of them pulled apart. Ianto looked almost guilty as the girl walked in.

"I thought you could probably use the warning." She grinned at Ianto, who sent her a cheeky smirk back. "And you must be Jack."

She turned to him and held out her hand.

"Talia Nguyen. It's great that I can finally meet you. It's nice to see what Ianto's been mooning about over the phone."

"I do not moon!" Ianto protested as Jack and Talia shook hands warmly.

"He mooned a little." She whispered to Jack. Ianto just frowned and grabbed plates from the counter.

"I'm going to set the table. Feel free to gossip about me behind my back." He returned sharply. Jack and Talia laughed and started talking quickly. Ianto couldn't feel too bad even if they were talking about him. He wanted the two of them to get along.

* * *

"And…." Jack appeared from the kitchen with two soup bowls and laid them in front of Ianto and Talia.

"Naengmyon!" Talia grinned, quickly grabbing a fork to try some. "My gran used to make this when I went to Korea to visit!"

"What exactly was the baking powder and barbeque sauce I picked up for then!" Ianto said indignantly.

"Throw you off the scent." The glare on Ianto's face sent Talia into laughter. Jack just grinned cheekily, til Ianto jumped at him. He pulled his arm around Jack's neck in a teasing pull.

"You are incourigible." He mussed Jack's hair.

"You're not fun." Jack shot back playfully.

"Go get yourself some food, telediw. I want to eat." Ianto pushed him gently towards the kitchen with a subtle caress of his cheek. Jack just shot him a smile over his shoulder.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N- A huge thanks to those who are till reading this and to anyone who has found this along the way. I hope everything's alright and things aren't too fluffy or angsty or confusing in all this. Especial thanks to everyone who's been reviewing: gaia-x-goddess, candybree, mel-mel jones, wickedwitchofthese, shaz, tracylynn esp., galadriel1010, Elanor16, pinkfairy727, and anyone else I may have missed. Always a pleasure to read your input!

* * *

Ianto twirled his fork around in his dish and smiled. Jack and Talia were talking with large animated movements about the wonders of Korea and Paris and the French coastline. Jack's experiences of the coastline had been more than sixty years ago, and in conditions far worse than a pleasure tour, but none of that showed through in his commentary. It was all about stoney beaches and villages with orchards and the patisserie in the tiny southeastern hamlet that Talia always visited on a day trip when she saw her mother's parents. She loved that it was owned by a family who had run it for over six generations. Jack told how it had been his father who had hid in the strong masonry of that very building it was in, in that very small French hamlet, hiding from the Germans. Ianto knew it was really him, he who had lost and sworn and been terrified in that place. And still he could only comment how when he visited there twenty years ago, the thing that struck him most was the smell of bitter chocolate and dark coffee that wafted in the street there. And it was honest. Ianto could tell that that was really the prominent memory Jack had of that place. He reached beneath the table and squeezed Jack's knee slightly.

Jack didn't pause in his story telling, switching from France to where Talia had grown up, Newcastle. His eyes strayed slightly to Ianto and sent him a wink, acknowledging the touch, affirming that he was alright with the tales that were rising up out of him with surprising freedom.

"So Jack, where did you grow up?"

Ianto looked from Talia to Jack, curious as to what he would say.

"Near the sea." He replied.

"It is lovely isn't it." Talia smiled back. Ianto thought she could probably feel Jack's resistance. He appreciated her discretion. "But where exactly did you learn to cook like this! This is amazing, really honestly some of the best Korean food I've had in a long time."

Jack smiled widely.

"Just one of my postings. I worked with a man who had spent the last ten years living in a farm village in South Korea. And I wasn't much of a hand at cooking at that point. He taught me a few things. This was really the only thing that I was able to get right."

"You must have Ianto forcing you to cook for him all the time."

"I've never had this before." Ianto said quietly.

"Oh." Talia felt as though she might have put her foot into her mouth without knowing it. "Well I suppose I'll have to visit more often and get him in the kitchen making it."

She tried to smile lightly, but she could see the slight frown that Jack held on his face as he watched Ianto.

"But….anyways….I'm going to grab the dishes then, and tidy the kitchen up in return for the great meal." She pushed down on Ianto's shoulders as he tried to stand and help.

"Tal-" She glared at him.

"Don't Tal me Yanno. Sit down and relax and have another glass of wine while I clean up."

She grabbed the bowls in a stack and the condiments in her free hand before disappearing into the kitchen. The flat was soon covered in the gentle hum of the radio Ianto had on his window sill and the clink of dishes in the sink. She would get rid of dishes for him to sulk over later. Tal knew him too well.

* * *

"Hey." Jack scraped his chair closer to Ianto and leaned on the corner of the table. Ianto gave him a short smile in reply.

"I like Talia. She's quite the firecracker." Jack said with a grin. When Ianto only gave a murmur of agreement Jack reached out to run his hand down Ianto's forearm.

"What?" Jack frowned into his question, tilting his head to grab Ianto's eyes.

"It's nothing. I'm just full."

Jack snorted.

"Full of what exactly? What's got you in a strop?"

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"I'm not in a strop, Jack."

"Said the stroppy boy. Am I being too friendly? Not friendly enough?"

"No. I like that you and Tal are getting along. It's just something foolish, really. I don't even know why I'm thinking about it."

"Well don't keep me in suspense here. What's the big question?"

"Why can I feel what you feel, and know what you're thinking on sometimes, and I know so little about your actual life? France? Your work-mate, if that's what he was, with the Korean food. Where you grew up? You've told Talia more in that one sentence than you ever told me." Ianto shrugged. "It's just…I dunno."

Jack sighed.

"Look. I know that there are a lot of things we haven't talked about. Especially when it comes to my past, who I was, where I came from and went. But you have to believe me, it's not because I'm trying to keep things from you. This….link, whatever it is that we have now. You can know how I feel. And I try to tell you…..what it is I feel for you." Jack's fingers slipped down Ianto's arm to play with his hand. "The past. That's all stories and grandiose and things that made me someone I don't like to remember being. You see who I am now. Who I'm trying to be. And I can't help being honest about that. Now, here, that's what is really real and honest to me. And that's what I want to share with you. Not the person I'm ashamed that I was."

* * *

Talia smiled into the suds, feeling the sharp hot swell that was in Ianto's chest. She liked Jack. She liked anyone who would make her Yanno feel like that.

* * *

"You, ashamed?" Ianto let out a faint laugh, but looked up at Jack in a way that made him look almost as young and hopeful as Jack had remembered him in front of the SUV the night they caught Myfawny.

"Yeah. Almost unimaginable that I could be more scandalous?"

"I'm terrified by your everyday behaviour. Who knows what would happen when you were intent on something."

"Depends what it was. Sometimes being intent on something can bring about as much good behaviour as bad." Jack gave him a challenging grin and laced his fingers with Ianto's, stretching them out a few times before they settled together.

"Do you trust me with secrets? Yours?" Ianto asked suddenly.

"Yes."

"I trust you with mine. I just…. It seems kind of pointless, but I thought I'd tell you." Ianto shook his head and shrugged. Jack leaned in for a kiss and captured Ianto's mouth. With a soft moan they pulled apart.

"Thank you." Jack smiled broadly and Ianto's ears and neck felt warm for a reason he didn't fully understand.

"No problem." He laughed a little in reply.

"Hey. Why don't you go turn on the tv? There's a match on right?"

Ianto's eyes snapped wide open.

"It hasn't started yet, eh?" His chair clattered back and he ran to the couch, fumbling with the remote.

Jack just snorted at the sudden change of mood and headed towards the kitchen.

"I'll get the ice cream."

* * *

The three of them sat lined up on the couch. Jack leant forwards, his arms on his knees and a spoon hanging from his mouth. Talia's legs lay across Ianto's crossed lap and she handed him the carton of ice cream wordlessly, not even taking her eyes from the screen.

Jack had taken a bit of an interest in rugby after they had gone to the game together, and Ianto had liked watching the matches with him. He grinned at the fact that Jack's spoon moved from his mouth and dangled towards the ice cream aimlessly until he guided it properly, Jack's eyes glued to the screen. He snickered when he nudged Jack's elbow and put a smudge of ice cream on his chin and Talia laughed next to him, glancing quickly over. At the last minute of the match when the other side won they groaned together and cursed off the other players and the home team's crap manager. Contentment hummed softly around Ianto.


End file.
